I dont use scented stuff, I bake if I want the house to smell nice., And I finally sat her down and said Hey Coworker, I want you to know that I dont dislike your perfume/lotion/candle scent ( although I did dislike them) I just have a strong, physical reaction, and when its pollen season, or mold season, Im extra sensitive and really cant handle any of those products in the air.. And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. up. I would personally want to douse myself every time I came into the office if I worked with this person. You can put on a puzzled/pitying face and rotate in comments like, Wow, thats rude, and What a strange thing to say.. My point is that maybe something similar is happening with OPs coworker and smells. Chicken is the reason I gave up vegetarianism after 7 years and I honestly could go without any other meat lamb is nice, steak is good occasionally. I am 30 years old and I have been told that I sniff constently in my sleep. I ALWAYS try to sniff and lick sweet girls' shoes. I dont experience essential oils as lasting longer, much the opposite. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. I dont think this is a race thing. Sigh. It took me like two years and several hundred dollars worth of products before I found something that worked for my hair and they will pry my weirdly pineapple-scented hair gel from my cold, dead hands. As a fragrance-sensitive person I dont want to dismiss the co-workers concern about smelling the offending patchouli. Im mentally picturing the co-worker as more of a powersuits and pantyhose type. Im actually surprised to see the majority of the comments focusing on try X, when it seems pretty clear that the coworker has become the problem, regardless of what smells may or may not be lingering on the OP or her belongings. She is forever grunting, snorting and huffing and puffing, not to mention wheezing and coughing. The other day, I was waiting for the elevator and he hurried over, asked me to hold the elevator so he could leave too. It seems that the OP has taken a lot of measures to make sure that the coworker is comfortable. Cant remember what it was, maybe its something I still wear and have just gotten used to it. So shes either exaggerating (because of being a jerk) or to be slightly more charitable shes now got herself into such a state of snittitude that she now genuinely smells patchouli where none exists, e.g., in a mildly lemon-scented body wash. Time to go on the offensive here. (One of the worst smells for me is certain types of cigarette smoke: I dislike all of them, but some brands trigger a sinus headache, or a migraine if Im around them too long. And that smell near OP could be interpreted that way by the co-worker. Thank you, Ill suggest that to my manager! Maybe you should get your nose checked out!) or tell her to cut it out (X, I stopped wearing that when you originally asked me to. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. Um no. Because unless the company is paying a fortune in extra costs, carpet cleaners are awful for people who are scent reactive. My jacket? If it is bullying, then standing up for your right not to be verbally abused may help. Whenever I smell it, I always immediately feel a rush of joy and then intense sadness, because my grandma wore that powder and I miss her so intently, and when I smell it my brain immediately registers Grandma, and then has to go through the process of grief again. This may be snarky.but perhaps the coworker could simply rub a bit of Vicks Vapor Rub just above her upper lip. The people who sniff every 10-20 seconds, all day, every day, of their whole lives. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. Thats my thought. I call them vanilla napalm (since every time Ive had a migraine form at work, Ive smelled cloyingly awful (probably fake) sweet vanilla, even if its supposedly a floral scent) So far, my management or OHSA rep has handled the dirty work of getting those removed. And its usually not like I can just switch from the scented version to the unscented one the one Im using is the only thing there is! My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. Nasal sprays. I have very short (pixie-length) bleached and dyed hair, and the schedule I have works really well for both the color and the texture of my hair. Typically I remove myself from the situation asap, while letting the fragrance-wearer know as gently as possible why Im bailing. Thats so interesting! If you yell at them to run, theyll tell you youre crazy, rude, whatever. Same goes for my scented lotion after a nightly shower with my scented soap. I bought a bottle of Caress body wash when I was in college because it was on sale. This type of preview may stop the interrupter before he or she starts. I dislike 99% of perfumes and am allergic to many but I dont go around making people feel like stinky people. And many, many people will never consider that they might unwittingly be the source of a problem. Id also be grumpy if I couldnt use scented products to make myself smell nice on Friday nights and weekends, for fear of bringing traces of the smell into work the next day. not wearing perfume to work). Never in my life did I think I'd see Gordon Ramsay quoted positively in an etiquette forum, but there it is, and he did well. Sure, the smell bothered me and sometimes I had to go take a walk to the water cooler to clear my head, but we were doing everything possible to mitigate the scent in the office so I just had to suck it up and deal with it and I would never dream of asking my boss to change his lifestyle to accommodate me. Anyway, I could definitely see it clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags. about. Now, I know that others who are sensitive cannot deal with it because of worse effects, but that doesnt look like what is happening here. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. Its pretty frustrating to scroll through. Fine. This may have already been mentioned, but the co-worker said the scent was bothering her. Bothering her as in I dont like that scent or bothering her as in I get debilitating migraines and cannot work due to that scent? There is a big difference. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? Q: Someone who sits near me (who I don't work with directly) has the most annoying habits. But it is of course very possible that this is just a drama queen who likes to make a fuss and I agree the OP should be more aggressive about it and not let the boss take the easy way out of only responding to the squeaky wheel. Maybe its made a home in her subcutaneous fat. That is what co-worker is complaining about. Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. I would still never buy it or order it in a bar, however. The only thing Id point out is that the coworker specifically mentioned patchouli when making comments about the smell, and lemon definitely does not smell like patchouli. True, but even the boss shouldnt be expected to get dressed in the garage. First of all, if there REALLY is a smell, even a very faint one, that shes making a big deal about it, you have shown her that you are and have dealt with it and now the matter is settled. Im the same way about artificial fragrances and I love essential oils. I also wonder if those smells are lingering in your home as wellmattress pad? Plus I like the scents I have. Your team's target will be based on both expansion and retention goals. I eventually left for another job and Im told she left right after. Im mostly fine with Irish Spring soap, which has a pretty heavy fragrance that makes me sneeze occasionally, but when I ran out recently and had to use a bar of a more lightly-scented soap that was supposed to be good for sensitive skin, I started breaking out in hives. Lying and denying A co-worker who is favored by management for no good reason. If you feel your coworkers habits of correcting your work are somewhat resembling any form of harassment, immediately inform upper management. Or maybe its a combination of things that clashes to make a weird scent, like the OPs lemon body wash combined with the office bathroom air freshener. Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. Its almost impossible to smell like nothing at all throughout the day. Coworkers complaint was legit, but everything shes done since then is snarky and petty and mean (even if she really can still smell whatever scents OP was wearing a month ago). OP, I think you can let yourself off the hook at this point. Dont wear it to work is really reasonable, but asking someone to never use it is not like you said, there are other scents that are also hated by some. Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. should I be so emotionally drained by managing? patchouli is hard to remove. I was thinking about this, too, but I havent gotten any promotion, raise or recognition since we started working on this project. :D He doesnt wear cologne, and keeps up his hygiene (and doesnt use mothballs). Just dont what? I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. Personally, Im allergic to dogs and Ive had coworkers come in with coats/clothes with dog hair on them and I would never ask them to make major changes to their routine outside of work for me. (I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their desk, though..). Heres an article he wrote for CNN that was reposted on a blog (couldnt find the original): http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/06/aversions-to-food-and-why-smells-make.html. But Id be pretty cranky if someone at work told me I had to stop using some hygiene product unless it was REALLY egregiously strong-smelling (looking at you, beloved Soap and Glory lotion that I wont wear in public). Remember that those with hidden agendas are . In those cases, if I have to eat around those people, I spend a LOT of time getting up to use the bathroom, flitting around the room to tidy/wash dishes, and otherwise avoiding and noise-covering as covertly as possible until it ends.). For some reason I have developed hay fever symptoms, runny nose, it Hi. OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. . Whether or not the coworker has a sensitivity, her behavior is way inappropriate. But that doesnt seem to be what the OP is dealing with just now, so she may need to change from the reasonable adult playbook to the dealing with a bully playbook. Even cotton! At that point, I think the OP can justifiably say that shes done what she can do, and if further accommodations are needed, the coworker needs to sort that out with their employer, not with OP. Not that they are scented themselves but two coworkers are all natural and I cant be near them for more than 5 minutes. And theres a limit to how much Im willing to let work infringe on my ability to surround myself with a pleasant environment in my off-hours, in the way that I define a pleasant environment, which for me is strongly scent-based. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. Ask Fergus, Does this scarf smell offensive to you? Your nose is a faucet, and there's no way to turn it off. Im scent sensitive myself (both nose wise and skin wise) and Im absolutely repulsed by scents, where Im sure I gross others out with my lack of scents. I didnt know the immune system could even distinguish between synthetic and natural molecules, but it sounds fascinating. However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. right now, but Ive had this schedule for about 10 years now, so my hair is used to it, and I have a whole network of people I trust to tell me if its time to wash again. Wash and dry clean any clothing that you wear thats kept in your office. Like wearing perfume on days off that lingers even after bathing before coming back to work, or burning incense in ones own home, or storing clothes laundered in scent-free products in the same dresser or closet with clothes that havent been laundered that way, or having an air freshener in ones own car. But if she figures out what it is, it might be easier to push back Im sorry Jane, but the smell is in my clothes and you cannot expect me to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate you. That's the end of it? Colloquially, anything scented you use for the scent (and not to wash, etc) is commonly referred to as perfume. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. Unless a colleague is burping or sniffing specifically to annoy you, you might not want to elevate the situation by lodging a complaint about her. Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? Instead they want to continue chatting or working. Do you have a sweater or jacket that you wear on a regular basis that you keep in your office? I remember wanting to scoop my eyeballs out in classes or long, multi-hour exams with chronic snifflers, even though I have a chronic low-grade sinus infection Ive struggled to treat my entire life. HR will work on an accommodation & there will be a doctors note provided that actually talks about the fragrance sensitivity. But the world is literally full of smells. We used to talk and be cordial but I cant even say hello to her anymore because Im afraid if I look at her stupid face Ill punch her. I wish this was more helpful to the OP. Ditto with my kids shampoo and bubble bath. i agree. Singing, coughing, sniffling - you name it. Im not going to cycle through god knows how many detergents and cleaning products to find one that both works for our youngest kid (eczema), is affordable, and isnt bothersome/an allergen to a random third party. At my last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself and another coworker. I think OP is referring to all toiletries and detergents (including the indie oils, which she wore as perfume because she doesnt wear perfume in the literal sense). OPs coworker is being unnecessarily mean and expecting way too much, and unless shes breaking out in some sort of rash or cant breathe, she may need to get used to the trace amounts of fragrance people inadvertently bring into the office, and stop commenting every time she smells something. as a manager, should I not wear a childless shirt in my off-hours? And it smelled basically like light body sweat. I live in DC and its more black women here. One option would be to talk to your manager. Bravo. I had wondered that as well. My mom says the same thing about Caress body wash. Not only that, but it can also be a sign that your female coworker likes you but is hiding it. Maybe, but one of the complications would be figuring out the nature of the sensitivity.. (LW, you have been so funny in the comments) There shouldnt be any fragrances lingering around. Shes done more than is reasonable. The co-worker in this situation is absolutely going about things unprofessionally, but as someone with scent sensitivity, I can sympathize. I have found literally one laundry detergent that doesnt make me break out in hives. Does she police every individual in the office? I cannot imagine going to work everyday without perfume on. I have a friend who I trade clothes with regularly when we get sick of stuff in our closet and I have to wash the clothes that come from her several times over before I can even stand to wear them, and several times over again before I cant smell it at all. Agreed. I agree with you that the OP has already done a lot and the coworker is being snarky. For me, my comments were about where the smell could still be coming from, since OP seems baffled that they could be smelling like anything after all theyve done to eliminate smells from their person. Ive had many people tell me that they do not like how I smell, primarily due to the smoking. And it smelled *horrible* and wouldnt come out; I tried vinegar and Oxi-clean after about five washes and that seemed to help. I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. Yep. Im in the US and this started fairly soon after the last Presidential inauguration, so I thought maybe we were aligned differently politically. I would also say they need to go to their manager or HR. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper. Even if she still can smell something on you that youre not noticing, shes not bringing it up in a productive way at all exaggerated sniffing and snarky comments are not helping anything! 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